#25: The Extreme

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#25: The Extreme

Post by Tobias_Marco » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:13 am

<Once again its time for the book of the week.>
<It may be spring time here in most of the Northern hemisphere, but you might want to put on your heavy winter coat for this one because this week we are talking about Animorphs #25: The Extreme, by Jeffrey Zuehlke. In this case we are talking about extreme temperatures, at one point in the book Visser 3 actually leaves the ‘Andalite Bandits’ alone because he figures that they will all freeze to death and he won’t have to deal with them anymore. It almost works, however I am getting a little ahead of myself.>
<Marco narrates this book, and he soon wishes that he had acquired a penguin at the Gardens before leaving the house that morning.>
<Chapter one starts with Marian, a smart, beautiful, charming, charismatic girl with black hair, deep dark eyes and gorgeous dimples who enjoys classical music and thinks that Marco also likes classical music, so SHE asks HIM out on a date to listen to Beethoven’s third, on Sunday afternoon. It is Marco’s dream come true.>
<You can just skip page 5 paragraph 2 through page 7 paragraph 2.>
<Chapter two has Marco telling Cassie that he fell asleep during The Big Date and when he woke up Marian was gone. (I guess she really is perfect after all.) Cassie admits that the other Animorphs, mainly Tobias and Ax, had watched Marian and she is currently Yeerk free. Just then Eric King shows up, and as Marco has pointed out a number of times, that is always bad news for the Animorphs.>
<The Yeerks have found someplace on Earth that is isolated enough to allow them to erect a satellite station without interference; they will use it to broadcast kandrona rays using human satellite technology turning every backyard swimming pool in the world into a Yeerk pool.>
<Over at Cassie’s barn after school that day Eric King, Ax in human morph and five kids who met Elfangor in an abandoned construction site talk about what is known and what isn’t known about this whole thing. They DO know that Visser 3 will be visiting the site soon, they DO NOT know where it is. They DO know where Visser 3 will be feeding the next day just before a Bug Fighter picks him up to take him to the site. The Chee agree to take the Animorph’s places while they are gone; possibly for the first time.>
<Chapter four and five tells us how the Animorphs fly to Visser 3’s feeding site the next morning; Visser 3 is already there feeding. The good news is they didn’t miss their chance, the bad news is that very soon they might wish they had. The Animorphs take turns landing and demorphing, than morphing flies, then finding each other again.>
<They sneak up on Visser 3 from beneath. Visser 3 scratches his butt. Then the Bug Fighter arrives, Marco finally gets on-board. It will take three and a half of your Earth hours to get where they are going. That means everyone must refreash their morphs on board the Blade ship that they are trasfering to…or be stuck as flies…FOREVER!!!>
<The Bug Fighter docks with the Blade ship, Marco nearly gets scratched and Visser 3 asks if all the Venber are on board. Ax can’t believe that he heard that right. The Animorphs find out that instead of Baywatch posters on his walls Visser 3 has an iron maiden and other devices of pain, and he most certainly did not have a bunch of cats. (Sorry, I read a fan-fic once where Visser 3 had a lot of cats.)>
<The Animorphs trick Visser 3 into leaving his quarters, then they de-morph and remorph.>
<The Animorphs have to kill a Taxxon. Visser 3 puts it all together and realized that the Andalite Bandits are on board.>
<The Animorphs head for and find the storage bays. They dimorph again. They find the Verber and Ax tells the other Animorphs what a Verber is, including that they are extinct. Then everyone goes into their battle morphs just in time foe Visser 3 to land the ship, possably making it easier for the Animorphs to escape, and then open the doors on three sides of them. They are surrounded by Hork-Bajior.>
<Rachel tries to open up a can of whoop-ass on a canister of Venber as Marco and Ax open the door off the ship as all remaining Animorphs attack Visser 3. The door opens and all Animorphs bail out. The mist from the Venber canister freezing anything it touches.>
<The Animorphs find themselves in a great big pile of animal, in the coldest place any of them has ever been. Ice, snow and cold as far as the eye can see. Tobias reports a base of some kind not far away. Visser 3 leaves them there and heads towards the base. He knows where they are and he knows they won’t get far. In fact, if not for their ability to rebuild their bodies with the morphing technology they would freeze to death out in this cold.>
<Ax and Tobias morph into flies and hide in Rachel’s grizzly fur, everyone else goes for cover from the bitter cold. Marco almost dies from the cold weather.>
<Rachel smacks some sense back into Marco and Marco morphs from gorilla to human to wolf. Rachel, Cassie and Jake also morph human, than wolf, Cassie having already been a wolf. They have fresh morph clocks, Tobias and Ax are still in insect morph on Rachel. Then a pair of Venber come looking for our half frozen heroes. Aiming some kind of new alien weapon that fires blinding green light.>
<These are Dracon assault cannons, they are about 10 times more powerful than Dracon beams, they are used for attacking hardened ground facilities from orbit. They are never seen again after this book. However the Animorphs lose the Venber for now and Marco makes a crack about Tobias being safe and warm ‘in his honey’s back fur’ This surprises Rachel, and Marco is somewhat surprised at her reaction, because clearly her relationship with Tobias is no secret to anyone (except my wife, but she doesn’t read the books, so she doesn’t really count.) Cassie dimorphs and remorphs first despite Ax and Tobias having been in morph the longest. Everyone freshens up their morphs and warms up in a big wolf pile.>
<The sun sets, the already insane cold gets even colder still and the Animorphs look for shelter and cold weather morphs. They smell something alive and go to see what it is. Maybe something they can morph? Maybe something they can eat? It turns out to be a polar bear.>
<What do polar bears eat?> Jake asked.
<Dumb kids playing hero,> I muttered.
<For what felt like the tenth time that day everyone refreashed their morphs. They hide out in a snow drift. Ax tells the story of the Venber, The Five, and early Andalite space travel, it does not make for the best bedtime story.>
<Ax and Tobias freak out about having been blind fleas for so long. Everybody remorphs every few hours only to start freezing to death all over again. The Animorphs discuses weather of not to eat seal meat and Cassie’s views on the morality of the situation.>
<The Animorphs eat their first meal in over a day; left over seal meat. Then they spotted the two baby seals whom had just lost their mother. The babies are targeted as cold weather morphs.>
<Grabbing, acquiring and morphing a baby seal. Marco makes a reference to the seal mind still morning its dead mother, implying that they get a little bit more than just DNA from the animals that they acquire. Then the Venber attack again.>
<The Animorphs escape as seals into the water, only to be hunted by orca. Can’t our guys EVER catch a break? Marco insults this crazy place only to find out that somebody just saw them demorph.>
<The Animorphs meet Derek the Inuit boy with the seal pelts. They talk a while and the Animorphs ask if they can pet Nanook the polar bear.>
<The Animorphs go to pet Nanook. Starting with a polar bear vs. grizzly and gorilla fight. Derek watches, then heads home.>
<Everyone morphs Nanook. Then they all head back towards the Yeerk base.>
<The Animorphs approach in a single file line, and then attack the Yeerk base, then the Venber attack.>
<The battle turns in the Animorphs favor when they realize that the Venber are programmed to attack them no matter what, and they can’t survive indoors.>
<The Animorphs steal a Bug fighter, blow everything to atoms (keep in mind these are the same kind of weapons that destroyed all trace of Elfangor’s ship, not counting the freak accident that saved the morphing cube.) Then they head south towards home. The Yeerks blow up the Bug Fighter however a few birds get away.>
<Sometime later Marco takes the world’s longest, hottest shower in human history, rivaled only by the showers currently being taken by Jake, Rachel and Cassie. Marco’s dad suggest that Marco stop trying to turn the house into a sauna, and that maybe they could go out and get some ice cream. Marco goes back into the shower.>
Wikipedia wrote:
Marco fails to get together with a girl named Marian. Later, Erek King tells Marco the Yeerks' plan to manipulate U.S. satellites to beam Kandrona rays into swimming pools, turning each into a Yeerk pool. That way, Controllers won't have to travel to the Yeerk pool, and the Animorphs would lose their advantage over them. The Yeerks are conducting their latest scheme in the Arctic Circle.

The Animorphs hitch a ride on Visser Three's Blade Ship as flies. On board, they discover cryogenic tubes with strange creatures inside them. Their presence is discovered by the Yeerks, and they're forced to morph their battle creatures. Jake orders a distraction, and Marco rips open the control panel to open the ship's hatch. Rachel, with all her grizzly bear might, manages to make a single, tiny crack in one of the specimen tubes. A liquid nitrogen-like mist spills out, freezing every living thing it touches. A nasty fight ensues, and the Animorphs bail out.

Falling out into the frozen tundra, the Animorphs find themselves freezing to death. They morph wolves, but they need energy to keep going. At night - since none of them can sleep - Ax tells the chilling tale of the new aliens, the Venber, a species from the Andalite moon Venbea, that was wiped out centuries ago by a race known as "The Five", melting them for computer semiconductors. Not only that, but the Yeerks have cloned them by cross-breeding them with humans, giving them their new humanoid shape. Then they find a polar bear had just killed and partially consumed a seal. The Animorphs eat the remains. Much to their surprise, not even Cassie has any scruples. They also find two seal pups - the pups of the seal they'd just eaten. Regretfully, they acquire the pups and leave them to their fate.
The first-page illustration from The Extreme, showing the Animorphs trudging around the Arctic in polar bear morph

Soon the Animorphs find themselves pursued by the creatures Marco had observed in the tubes. They morph seals to escape them, but are attacked by orcas in the freezing depths.

Later, they come across Derek, a young, jocular Inuit, and his "buddy", Nanook the polar bear. Derek tells them about the people with the satellite dish, and how they're even worse than the American and Canadian elite who shoot wildlife from helicopters for the adrenaline rush. The Animorphs are presented with an opportunity to acquire the DNA of a native animal, and so they attack Nanook. After pinning him down, they each acquire him, and morph him.

The Animorphs, in their new polar bear morphs, advance on the Yeerk base. They encounter the Venber, engaging them in a brutal battle. They lure the remaining Venber into the hangars, where the above-zero conditions cause them to melt. The Animorphs then steal a Yeerk Bug fighter, and Marco immolates the Yeerk base. Soon to be intercepted by the Blade ship, they morph birds and ditch the alien craft over the West Coast, and fly home.
Contributions to series story arc

This marks the first occasion where the Chee pose as the Animorphs for their families while they are away on a long-term mission.
Cinnamon Bunzuh! wote:
The Chee have found out that the Yeerks are implementing some sort of plan to do something with satellites that will turn all bodies of water into Yeerk Pools. So the Animorphs have to put a stop to it. They sneak aboard the Blade ship, not knowing what their destination is, and find themselves freezing to death in the Arctic.

The only slightly useful morphs they have are wolves, so the Animorphs wander around for a while. They are also chased by new creatures that Ax identifies as Venber, which are very strong but cannot survive temperatures above zero. The Yeerks engineered them to do construction in the ice.

Eventually the Animorphs meet an Inuit boy named Derek and his polar bear friend Nanook. They acquire Nanook and attack the Yeerk facility. The Venber are unable to follow them inside where it is warm without melting, and the Animorphs easily steal a bug fighter and use it to blow everything up.

The Review
Adam: So, now we have our first ghostwritten book.
Adam: Please excuse my error the other week.
Ifi: Yeah Adam is a liar.
Adam: ...Thanks

Adam: Anycase, this book is courtesy of Mr. Jeffrey Zuehlke.
Ifi: Mr. Z decided the Animorphs needed to spend 3/4 of the text wandering around in the snow.
Adam: Yeah, this is another one of those road trip books.
Adam: This is the third one so far, as I recall?
Ifi: Well there was Leera and ummm
Adam: Amazon rainforest
Ifi: Right

Adam: So, the cover.
Ifi: Yep it's a polar bear.
Adam: It's a bit bland, honestly.
Adam: The pose isn't terribly exciting.
Ifi: This book isn't terribly exciting
Adam: Alas, this is true.
Adam: Though the color scheme is at least thematically appropriate.

Adam: So, we begin with Marco's love life.
Ifi: Marco actually got a date!
Ifi: With some throwaway character who will never be mentioned again
Adam: Oh throwaway love interest, you are always my favorite.
Adam: So, this girl who apparently has "Dreamweaver" playing in the background whenever she walks by ends up asking Marco to the opera.
Adam: This will obviously end well.
Ifi: What kind of middle schooler goes to see a live orchestra?
Adam: That is a very good question

"So then what happened?" Cassie asked me in study hall the day after what had come to be called The Big Date.

Study hall was being held in the school gym this week. They'd closed our usual classroom. Something about asbestos and lawsuits.

So instead of studying silently for an hour, a bunch of kids were playing basketball and volleyball while the rest of us, me and Cassie included, sat on the bleachers and talked. It was a big improvement.

"Well, after I failed in a bold attempt to escape during intermission, we went back in and the orchestra started to play. Again. And they played. And played. And I considered yelling 'Fire!' just to get outta the place. And when I woke up everybody was gone, including Marian."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: -slow clap-
Adam: Marco, you have such a way with the ladies.
Ifi: Whatever, I prefer this sort of opening to stupid and dangerous cover-blowing antics
Adam: It still comes off as more than a bit pointless
Adam: And doesn't really add anything to the plot.
Ifi: The openings never do.
Adam: True enough

Adam: So anywho, Marco and Cassie are derping around in the gym, when who should show up, but our buddy Erek.
Ifi: Erek has an assignment for them!

"Our sources tell us the Yeerks have been trying to develop a way to broadcast Kandrona rays using human satellite technology," Erek told us. "They seem to have found some place on this planet isolated enough to allow them to erect a satellite station without interference. If they're successful, they could turn every backyard swimming pool in the world into a Yeerk pool."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: I don't think that's how it works.
Adam: And therefor giving everyone on earth horrible cancer
Ifi: Well so I guess now we have to stop them.
Ifi: Whatever, it's a few days off from school
Ifi: I think this is the first time the Chee stand in for the whole team
Adam: I am honestly surprised that they didn't come up with this earlier.
Adam: When I was reading earlier books, I am always surprised when their parents yell at them for getting back late.
Adam: Particularly in book 19, where Cassie goes missing for a week
Adam: They really could have asked Erek to get a cover for her.
Ifi: Well that time I think they thought she was legitimately lost
Adam: Fair point.

<So, no problem, right?> Tobias said. <We fly out to Visser Three's feeding place and when the Bug fighter arrives, we hitch a ride.>

"That appears to be our only option."

"Shun. Shunn," Ax confirmed.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: Great idea guys
Adam: …How do they know that Visser Three intends to go straight there after eating?
Adam: What if he had some business meetings or such first?
Ifi: The Chee said so.
Adam: I mean, it is always possible for him to have some intermediary chores in between those two things.

Ifi: Anyway, check out what Visser Three has in his room

There were various things hanging from the walls, like art. Some were large and elaborate, made of steel or something like steel. Some had electrical probes. Some had teeth or spikes or saws. We had an idea they might be instruments of torture collected from around the galaxy.

We had that idea because I recognized one of the artworks: It's called an "iron maiden." Not the dinosaur rock band, the Middle-Ages cage with the spikes inside.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: …Really?
Adam: I would have appreciated an attempt to make him even just a little bit less of a Saturday morning cartoon villain.
Ifi: Yeah I dunno
Adam: Have him have some weird pets, or a photo of his brother or Evanescence posters or something.

Ifi: Anyway, the flight to the mystery location is pretty long and I think at one point a Taxxon eats itself or something idk
Adam: Also, there are these weird creatures in tubes onboard
Ifi: Oh right yes

Rising up behind her was a pillar of glass. A cylinder ten feet, twelve feet tall, and half as broad. Inside the cylinder was a vague shape, blood-red and midnight-blue slashes highlighting a glistening silver body.

Yes, body. Because despite the frosted glass and the mist that filled the cylinder, that ten-foot-tall tube contained something biological.

There was a row of the cylinders spaced across the cargo bay. Maybe ten in all.

"They look like creatures of some kind," Cassie said.

[…]

"An alien race from a frozen moon several dozen light-years from here," Ax explained. "We learned about them in school. They were among the earliest evidence we obtained of life beyond our own planet. But the Venber have been extinct for thousands of years."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: This is suddenly turning into one of those paranormal mystery shows.


Ifi: The Venber have a pretty horrible backstory. They were killed and melted down into microchips.
Adam: Well, semiconductors, but yes.
Adam: Poor guys.
Adam: I mean, treating them that was ways just cold.


Adam: I've got plenty more, folks!
Ifi: Ugh go away
Adam: You know you love my wit and eccentric charm.

Ifi: Anyway they get themselves caught eventually

Shwooof! To our left a door opened.

Shwooof! To our right a door opened.

Shwooof! The door opened right ahead of us.

Each door was big enough to frame a dozen Hork-Bajir. Peering over their shoulders were more Hork-Bajir.

And right then I realized why Visser Three had let the ship land: He'd located us. He knew he had us. And we were definitely dead.

I stopped breathing. Hork-Bajir were everywhere. Everywhere! This wouldn't be a fight. This would be a slaughter.

Then, at the center door, he appeared.

<Well, well, well. Here aboard my own ship. How nice of you to come around to see me. Can I offer you anything? Something to drink? To eat? Or maybe just a quick death?>

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: Seriously.
Adam: Saturday morning cartoon villain.
Ifi: But they escape. And it turns out they are in somewhere cold.
Adam: So for some idiot reason, they all go into their battle morphs.
Adam: Which include a tiger and a gorilla.
Ifi: Everyone died.
Adam: I died.
Adam: Inside, at least.

<Could be Alaska,> Tobias said. <About a mile that way I see some kind of base or even a town. Lots of gray, corrugated metal buildings. One bigger than the rest. Big doors like those on plane hangars. There's like this giant bowl attached to the roof. And that's the hawk report, boys and girls. I am morphing before I end up in the frozen foods section next to the frozen chicken.>

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: The next sixty pages are spent wandering around in the snow.
Adam: As it turns out, Alaska is cold.
Adam: Who knew?


Ifi: Also boring.
Adam: So, they make it to the building, where they promptly get attacked by Venber wielding giant laser cannons.
Adam: In retrospect, they really should have tried to acquire them.
Ifi: I know right?
Ifi: Everyone is freezing to death and nobody even thinks to try and pin one down
Adam: Because certainly a morph that can withstand sub-zero temperatures would never come in handy.
Adam: Though to be fair, these things are stated to be monstrously strong.
Ifi: They didn't even tryyyyyyy
Adam: Yeah, they really should make an attempt to get more alien morphs, overall.

Ifi: They actually don't seem to do much of anything
Ifi: in this book
Ifi: They dig a hole in the snow at one point
Adam: Yeah, it's just everyone walking around slowly freezing to death.
Ifi: To keep warm, some of them morph fleas and burrow into Rachel's fur for warm

I turned to look over my shaggy gray shoulder. I couldn't see the Venber. Couldn't smell them, either, despite the wind blowing from behind us.

<No way they gave up,> Tobias said. <We have to keep moving.>

<So says the flea all nice and warm in his honey's back fur,> I muttered.

<What did you say?> Rachel demanded. I guess she was shocked that I'd dare to make any remark suggesting she and Tobias were more than just friends and Animorphs. Like that was some big secret.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: Also the Venber are following them as apparently they have nothing better to do.
Ifi: And then they find a polar bear! But they don't try to acquire him.
Adam: Well, if you were stuck in a place like this all day, you'd probably want to find something new to do


Adam: And yeah, this book suddenly turns into a nature documentary.

The polar bear pulled his head out of the water, shook it, and lumbered further out on the ice. Finally, when he was about twenty yards from the water's edge, he dropped onto his stomach and slithered along a few feet at a time.

The polar bear stopped. He'd found something.

Suddenly he raised one of his giant paws and slammed it through the ice. I heard a desperate squealing and saw a pair of gray shapes scurry out of the hole his paw had made. The shapes scurried off and jumped back into the water a few yards away. The bear kept his paw in the hole, reaching around for the seal he'd trapped.

Then he stuck his head through the hole. He stood up on his powerful legs. He raised his head. The seal was in his jaws. But the seal was too fat to fit through the hole.

He pulled it out anyway. The process made for instant, shredded seal.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: Nature is beautiful
Ifi: Oh but there are leftovers! Hooray!

<But you're waiting for me to give my approval? Is that it?> [Cassie] said.

<Look,> I began again. If I had to be the jerk in this situation, that was fine. I was used to it. I was usually the first one to state the obvious, no matter how ugly it was. Just call me Mr. Ruthless. <In case you haven't noticed, there doesn't seem to be a Mickey D's around here.>

<I noticed that,> Cassie said, a little annoyed. <It's obvious what we have to do. And not just to the bear's leftovers, but to any live seal we can find. What I don't understand is why you're asking me for permission. Do you guys think I'd put an animal's life over yours? Or mine, come to think of it?>

<I don't know,> I started to say.

<You don't know? When did you start thinking I was some kind of fanatic? We're freezing, we're starving, and I'm going to go all tree-hugging, never-eat-anything-with-a-face on you?>

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme




Adam: I think Cassie is just hungry.
Adam: Because honestly, all the things that they are semi-accusing her of seem perfectly in character.
Ifi: Yeah
Ifi: I mean it's easier to be a vegetarian when you live in suburban California
Ifi: as opposed to Alaska or wherever the hell they are
Adam: I'd like to point out that a traditional Inuit diet is pretty much all meat.
Adam: Because that's basically all you can get up there.
Ifi: om nom nom I love meat

Then my sensitive nose picked up the scent of seals, very close. Live seals. I spotted the two little gray balls floating in the water. They were the baby seals who'd escaped from the polar bear. Looking right at us with those big black eyes.

They had faces like puppy dogs. Little heads with big eyes and whiskers. No ears. I usually like to reserve the word cute for myself exclusively, but there was really no other way to describe them.

<They're looking for their mother,> Cassie said.

Their mother? Their mother was…

An unexpected wave of emotion swept over me. Dumb, I know, but for two years I thought my mom was dead. Not the same, though. Was it? Watching those little seals floating in the water, waiting for the mother who would never return, brought all the sadness back in a rush.

I moved between them and the horrible carcass on the ice. It wasn't our doing, killing their mother. But we'd profited from it.

<Our cold-weather morphs,> Rachel said. <Right there.>

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: x_X Great morph guys.
Ifi: Polar bears and orcas and Arctic foxes are lame. What we need is a completely defenseless baby seal.


Ifi: The Yeerks won't know what hit them
Adam: Well, perhaps they can scare predators away with adorable internet memes.
Ifi: Well at least they won't die of cold.
Ifi: They'll die of being eaten by the first thing that sees them
Adam: So they catch a seal, and Marco gets scratched on the nose for his trouble.
Ifi: But then the Venber see them morph! The Animorphs run away and make no attempt to stop the Venber from returning to their base!
Adam: Oh well, I guess it will all work out.

Adam: Of course, then they demorph right in front of this Inuit kid who was out hunting.
Ifi: My God I cannot believe this happened.

He was sitting in a beat-up little fishing boat with a small outboard motor. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd probably scared the killer whales off with his engine.

I kept looking at him. He kept looking at me. I didn't know what to do. Or what to say.

So I waved and said, "Hi. How's it going?"

He didn't say anything for a minute. Just stared. Finally he said, "You some kind of spirit or something?"

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: So everybody meet Derek.
Ifi: Derek is so laid-back that I think he might be high.
Adam: I like Derek, honestly.
Adam: Everything is always drugs with you, isn't it?

"Those crazy Star Trek men. Shooting seals with phasers and all. Like those people are using them for target practice or something. They show no respect. Makes me mad."

"Star Trek guys?" I said.

"Yeah," he replied. Then, "Oh, I guess you animal spirits don't watch TV, huh? You need to get a satellite dish, Spirit-boy."

"The name's Marco. That's Jake, Rachel, Cassie, Tobias…he's the one with the wings and Ax. Ax isn't from around here."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme

Ifi: So Derek has seen the spaceships and the Venber and the construction and he is COMPLETELY UNFAZED by it and just goes on doing his thing apparently.
Adam: Well, this is the place where Sarah Palin came from.
Adam: I'm sure he's seen worse.

"Hunting for sport. Like it's a game. Yeah, we get guys come up here for that. Up from New York and Detroit. Shoot bears and caribou from helicopters. No respect for nothing, those guys. Those guys at the station, though, they're the worst. They're just crazy for killing." He cocked his head. "That must make you animal spirits mad."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: This book makes no sense.


Adam: Again, this is just another ordinary day for Derek.
Ifi: Also Derek is friends with the polar bear they saw before.
Adam: This is profoundly convenient.
Adam: So they ask him if they can go wrestle the bear.
Adam: Being the sensible human being that he is, Derek says yes.

We morphed back to seals, followed Derek's boat, and found the polar bear sprawled on the ice on his back, lounging in the sun. Like he was at the beach. Frankly, it annoyed me. How could any creature enjoy this place?

We crawled up onto the ice a few hundred yards away from the bear and demorphed to human.

"I wish I could do that," Derek said, watching with interest as human faces appeared on seal bodies.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: Yeah. Derek is baked.
Adam: What, you don't wish that you could do that?
Ifi: The part that confused me was that the way Derek talked about the bear made it sound like he was tame, but he obviously was not and the Animorphs have to beat him into submission
Adam: I don't really think that you can tame polar bears.
Adam: I figured it was more that he has sort of been near the bear since he was little, and they have some sort of mutual respect thing
Ifi: So they finally get some polar bear DNA.
Ifi: I am sure they have polar bears at the Gardens, why did this have to be so difficult?
Adam: It's a retrospect thing.
Adam: When would they have figured that they would go to Alaska?
Adam: And it's not like you want to go and wrestle the largest terrestrial carnivore on a whim.
Ifi: Polar bears are badass and should be everyone's battle morphs.
Adam: They're strong, but they become sluggish in high temperatures.

Ifi: So now that we have the cover morph, we can get on with the plot.

The base came to within a hundred yards or so of the water at one point. It was a collection of corrugated steel buildings, an unattractive bunch of structures placed seemingly at random. There were vehicles—Sno-Cats and big trucks and motorized cranes. Nothing alien to the casual observer. Unless you happened to notice the big silver Venber, bending steel with their bare hands as they built the main satellite dish.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: For some reason, a human-Controller is suspicious about a group of bears suddenly sauntering into the facility.
Adam: So she sets the alarm, and we finally learn how the yeerks were controlling a species with a sub-zero body temperature.
Ifi: With remote controls!

"Andalites in morph!" someone yelled. He sounded in control. Not panicked. He sounded like a guy with a big stick to swing. "Program the Venber! Target: any quadruped. Override all security protocols. The Andalites must not escape."

Program the Venber?

[…]

To my left, a slight figure. Another woman? A kid? Stepped out, carrying what I would have sworn was a TV remote control. She was calmly punching keys on the thing.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Adam: You'd think they would have more elaborate controls.
Adam: I mean, they use a partially telepathic relay for their ships.
Ifi: Also if they were able to recreate the Venber, they can totally build themselves bodies.
Adam: Enough of you and your logic.
Adam: So they break into the room with the bug fighters, which is warmer.
Adam: And the Venber…melts.



Silent, ghastly, he writhed. The lower half of his body was already a spreading pool of viscous liquid. A powerful smell hit us. Like chlorine or something.

The top half of the Venber kept reaching for us. Trying to obey its programming. It was nothing but a biological computer. A hideous creation of the Yeerks. Even in its own death throes it could do nothing but obey its programming.

We splashed through the Venber's liquid body. There was no other way. I felt a chemical tingle on my paws. I tracked it onto the floor beyond.

[...]

Jake and Tobias came up behind, still running, bloodied, their white fur ripped away in chunks. Two big Venber were after them. The two Venber hit the warm air. They kept charging, even as their ski feet turned to glue.

Another, right behind them. Charging, deadly one second, then pitiful the next.

I froze there, staring. Watching the mindless suicide. They came at us, leaping through the gap, slowing, stumbling, falling, melting.

Ax was aboard the nearest Bug fighter. I snapped out of my horrified trance and realized they all were. All but Cassie and I. We waited till all eight of the Venber at the base had destroyed themselves. I don't know why. With all the danger, all the terror, someone still needed to be a witness. Someone needed to be able to tell the world someday about this Yeerk atrocity.

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: Trauma trauma is so fun
Ifi: Trauma is for EVERYONE!
Adam: This is certainly a series known for its cheery moments

Ifi: Then the Animorphs blow the entire place up with just a bug fighter.

Ax turned our ship till our two Dracon spikes were aimed point-blank at the other ship.

<Low power, please,> Ax suggested.

I fired. Even at low power the concussion from the disintegrating Bug fighter knocked us back against one of the corrugated steel walls.

We swiveled and blew the wall into atoms. Ax kicked the ship into gear and we were out in the night, circling above the base.

"The dish," Jake said.

I fired.

TSEEEEEEW!

The dish blew into atoms.

"That building over there."

TSEEEEEEW! Building gone.

We systematically destroyed the base, building by building, vehicle by vehicle. Each time, we allowed time for the human-Controllers to run like scared sheep. It was the base we wanted, not them.

Finally, Jake said, "The hangar."

----Book Twenty-Five, The Extreme


Ifi: And yeah that's basically it.
Ifi: Visser Three does not show up or morph anything silly.
Ifi: There is not much in the way of resistance.
Adam: Well, the blade ship shows up later and shoots them down.
Adam: But they have flown south enough that they are able to fly the rest of the way home in bird form.
Adam: And then Marco goes and uses up all of the hot water in the shower.
Adam: The End.

Ifi: Why was this a book.
Ifi: Why


Adam: I feel like the only reason this book exists is an excuse to give them polar bear morphs.
Ifi: That could have done in a billion better ways.
Adam: Agreed.

Ifi: As far as making all bodies of water into Yeerk pools, well, it's an interesting idea, but I thought the pools had to be filled with that sludge stuff?
Adam: Yeah, I assumed that they had to put certain nutrients in the pool, or so forth.
Adam: Also, is there any reason that the Yeerks don't try this plan again in a different location?
Ifi: Furthermore, the Yeerks have a SPACE FLEET they do not need some pathetic human satellite station to pull this off.
Adam: …That is a very good point.

Ifi: Are we done talking about this stupidity?
Adam: Seemingly.
Ifi: Good.
Last edited by Tobias_Marco on Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by gh astly » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:28 am

Glad it was your turn, because I totally would have forgotten if it was mine. :P
This book more than any left absolutely no impression on me, good or bad. I can easily say that it is the one I would reach for last in any situation, and even now, I'm a little hard-pressed to think of anything even interesting about it. I guess the bit about the Five was interesting, but totally and completely pointless, really.
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by Tobias_Marco » Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:48 pm

<Be that as it may, this is an Animorph book, and we have taken up the task of talking about every single one.>
True education, true science, true religion is the search for truth.
Matthew 28:16-20, John 3:14-20

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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by gh astly » Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:50 pm

In that case, I might sit this one out. :P
Just kidding. I am a host, so there are some places where I can't be lazy.
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by Tobias_Marco » Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:08 pm

<I did wish this book spent less time on them freezing to death.>
<It was also fun to see that everyone knows about Rachel and Tobias, and yet somehow Rachel is surprised by all this.>
<You can see it in how they act around each other.>
<I wonder, if I were to black out every part that hinted that Jake and Cassie liked each other, how many words would I be removing?>
<What if I did the same with Rachel and Tobias?>
<I'm just guessing, yet I think Rachel and Tobias have over ten times as many words or more.>
<There are more words on Marco teasing Rachel that she secretly loves him than there are that Jake and Cassie like each other.>
<It seems to me more like Cassie has a crush on Jake.>
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by Jake_Berenson » Wed Apr 16, 2014 10:58 am

On page 33 Ax says that the trip will take <Three and a half of your Earth hours.>
On page 34:
<Three and a half of our hours! Where are we going, the moon?> Tobias asked.
<Don't You start with the our-hours-your-hours thing, Tobias,> I warned.
<No,> Ax replied. <Going to the moon would take less than three and a half of your hours. Our journey will take longer because we will be flying through the planet's atmosphere.>
Alright, I understand that due to the force of friction and all that flying through the atmosphere will take longer, however if I were a Yeerk Visser I would think my time was a little more valuable than that.
The moon is a lot farther away than most people on Earth realize. What if I flew my Bug Fighter half way to the moon and then did a U-turn in space and headed to wherever this secret base was?
According to Ax the trip would take 'less than three and a half of your hours', yet we don't know how much less. However as I said earlier, the moon is REALLY far away. What if I only flew 1/4th that distance before doing a U-turn? My total travel time would be cut in half! Now my trip should take 'less than one-point-seven-five of your hours'.
Granted they all just refreshed their morphs, however this does get them dangerously close to the two hour limit.
What if we flew 1/8th of the way to the moon and then did that U-turn? Now the trip will take 'less than zero-point-eight-seven-five of your hours', or to say it another way 'less than fifty-two and a half of your minutes'.
Why would Visser 3 want to take three and a half of our hours to get somewhere that he can just as easily get to in 'less than fifty-two and a half of our minutes'?
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by Tobias_Marco » Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:59 am

<It should also be noted that not only would that lead to a shorter travel time, it would also lead to less fuel used, as they don't have to deal with friction caused by traveling through the air.>
<This means that they could have gotten there without being detected, and may have been able to deal with the whole problem without getting polar bear morphs and the book would be only a third as long.>
<I also noticed that be the time they come back a day or so later Visser 3 is gone, so there is no Visser 3 monster morph in this book.>
<Given how the book turned out this makes sense, as the Animorphs are freezing to death he is busy doing his thing and has to get back to California to lead the rest of the invasion, despite the fact he knows where the 'Andalite Bandits' are.>
<If he hadn't learned they were on board he would have gone straight to the complex and they would have fought there and Visser 3 would have morphed into some new kind of alien creature that we've never seen before.>
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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by SamilinCorrathGahar » Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:43 pm

<Of course if that happened the book would have made much more sense, yet only been about 25 to 50 pages long.>
<Yes, it is I, Captain Samilin-Corrath-Gahar of the Andalite ship Ascalin, and ruler of everything .>

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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by lady_summoner » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:20 pm

I don’t think I realized there were so many logical inconsistencies in this book before reading the review posted here. I wonder if some of it would have been smoothed out if it wasn't ghostwritten.

Here's my favorite part:
Nanook the polar bear went lumbering off. No doubt to tell some stories of his own. I could hear it now: "No, seriously! A gorilla. I'm minding my own business, and suddenly there's this gorilla . . .”

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Re: #25: The Extreme

Post by gh astly » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:58 pm

One thing that I forgot to mention was that when Marco claimed that Iron Maiden was a "dinosaur rock band" or something to that effect, I was so frustrated that I took it upon myself to listen to The Number of the Beast in its entirety before finishing the book. :P
Animorphs: The Abridged Series. Post there so I'm not lonely.

So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, we're just talking meat. And music?

Well, it's just entertainment, folks.