A stroke of luck? Really? In such a realistic story, I oppose luck. That's just me, though; my characters never get a break.John3Sobieski wrote:Jake and Dave discover the enemies plan and return them to John. By a stroke of luck, they took the plans in a way that the Communists don’t even know that they’ve been compromised.
Please don't throw a romantic subplot in there for no reason. This sounds kind of tacked on. *shakes head* If you're going to keep this, it better be good.John3Sobieski wrote: He also builds on his fairly romantic relationship with the High Chiefs daughter, who is now of marrying age, and quite beautiful to boot.
Again, I oppose counting on miracles. They don't happen in real warfare. Men make their own miracles, through strategy and tactics.John3Sobieski wrote:They evacuate Carthage in one week, and the Degar lines miraculously hold during that time.
Aside from those three things (which are really just personal preferences you're free to ignore; after all, this is your story not mine), I've got only positive feelings for Book 1. The warfare is presented, more or less, realistically and accurately. The tactics are certainly appropriate to the cultures. The American soldiers are certainly very Western in their approaches to battles (interpret that however you will; I never had anything good to say about Vietnamese generals). Overall, it seems like a realistic war story, and there aren't nearly enough of those around.
Although one more thing: I don't think this is the place where Book 1 belongs. Aside from the Ellimist reference, it doesn't have anything to do with the Animorphs series (from what you said) and I think it might fit better in the Other Books section. That's where I put some excerpts from my own novel.
Book 2: First, I have to argue against your negative Communist stereotype. There was never any danger of a Communist takeover, but, rather, a Soviet takeover. I think it's important that you learn the difference between the Soviets (who were Socialists, not Communists) and Communists (who, by definition, wouldn't want to enslave anyone). I suggest reading the Manifesto; it's best for you to have knowledge (and preferably an understanding) of an ideology before making such blanket statements. Now, I know you've been raised in the American "Red Terror" atmosphere, but Communism (at least, Marxism) is certainly a belief you should take a closer look at; at which you should take a closer look.
Moving on, Book 2 certainly seems to have much more to do with the Yeerks and would belong here. Now, I can't assess how the tactics you suggested would work without detailed maps of the area, so I can't critique the military aspects.
I'm certainly looking forward to reading both of these. Although I really think you should, at the very least, study the Art of War. It has entire chapters devoted go guerrilla warfare and would add authenticity to your writing. Aside from that, carry on and I can't wait.