The War of the Yeerk Scourge

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capnnerefir
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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by capnnerefir » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:28 pm

I'e got only a few negative comments to make.
John3Sobieski wrote:Jake and Dave discover the enemies plan and return them to John. By a stroke of luck, they took the plans in a way that the Communists don’t even know that they’ve been compromised.
A stroke of luck? Really? In such a realistic story, I oppose luck. That's just me, though; my characters never get a break.
John3Sobieski wrote: He also builds on his fairly romantic relationship with the High Chiefs daughter, who is now of marrying age, and quite beautiful to boot.
Please don't throw a romantic subplot in there for no reason. This sounds kind of tacked on. *shakes head* If you're going to keep this, it better be good.
John3Sobieski wrote:They evacuate Carthage in one week, and the Degar lines miraculously hold during that time.
Again, I oppose counting on miracles. They don't happen in real warfare. Men make their own miracles, through strategy and tactics.

Aside from those three things (which are really just personal preferences you're free to ignore; after all, this is your story not mine), I've got only positive feelings for Book 1. The warfare is presented, more or less, realistically and accurately. The tactics are certainly appropriate to the cultures. The American soldiers are certainly very Western in their approaches to battles (interpret that however you will; I never had anything good to say about Vietnamese generals). Overall, it seems like a realistic war story, and there aren't nearly enough of those around.

Although one more thing: I don't think this is the place where Book 1 belongs. Aside from the Ellimist reference, it doesn't have anything to do with the Animorphs series (from what you said) and I think it might fit better in the Other Books section. That's where I put some excerpts from my own novel.

Book 2: First, I have to argue against your negative Communist stereotype. There was never any danger of a Communist takeover, but, rather, a Soviet takeover. I think it's important that you learn the difference between the Soviets (who were Socialists, not Communists) and Communists (who, by definition, wouldn't want to enslave anyone). I suggest reading the Manifesto; it's best for you to have knowledge (and preferably an understanding) of an ideology before making such blanket statements. Now, I know you've been raised in the American "Red Terror" atmosphere, but Communism (at least, Marxism) is certainly a belief you should take a closer look at; at which you should take a closer look.

Moving on, Book 2 certainly seems to have much more to do with the Yeerks and would belong here. Now, I can't assess how the tactics you suggested would work without detailed maps of the area, so I can't critique the military aspects.

I'm certainly looking forward to reading both of these. Although I really think you should, at the very least, study the Art of War. It has entire chapters devoted go guerrilla warfare and would add authenticity to your writing. Aside from that, carry on and I can't wait.

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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by Snoopy » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:41 pm

capnnerefir wrote:First, I have to argue against your negative Communist stereotype. There was never any danger of a Communist takeover, but, rather, a Soviet takeover. I think it's important that you learn the difference between the Soviets (who were Socialists, not Communists) and Communists (who, by definition, wouldn't want to enslave anyone). I suggest reading the Manifesto; it's best for you to have knowledge (and preferably an understanding) of an ideology before making such blanket statements. Now, I know you've been raised in the American "Red Terror" atmosphere, but Communism (at least, Marxism) is certainly a belief you should take a closer look at; at which you should take a closer look.
Uh... I beg to differ with you. I have read the Manifesto, in addition to having studied rather thoroughly the writings of various communists. Communism, by its vary nature, requires that all human kind be subjected to communism. You see, communism struggles towards the creation of a perfect utopia, a heaven on earth, so to speak. But according to communism, until every last person is subjected to communism, utopia can never be achieved. Thus, the undying goal of communists is to create that utopia by means of an intermediate government, the "proliterian dictatorship" as they call it, and make all the world communistic.
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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by capnnerefir » Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:22 pm

As much as I want to debate you, Snoopy, I won't do it here because this one is bound to spiral out of control. Put up a thread in politics or something.

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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by Snoopy » Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:20 pm

Right you are, Cap. I'll make a new topic in Politics.

And John, I would comment, only I haven't read it, so I don't have anything to say. When I get around to reading it, I'll be sure to give you my thoughts.
John3Sobieski wrote:A 16 year old who knows communism snoopy? I'm impressed.
:lol: Yes, we homeschoolers may be completely culturally backwards, (how many people do you know who listen to Bach as study music and wear vee-neck sweaters over Oxford dress shirts and khaki slacks?), but no one can say that we don't know our stuff.
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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by capnnerefir » Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:03 pm

Actually, come to think of it, there wouldn't be much point in us arguing over it. Let's face it Snoopy: do you have anything that even resembles an open mind on this issue?

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Re: The War of the Yeerk Scourge

Post by Snoopy » Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:15 pm

Try me. You may be surprised. Besides, I've already created a topic for it.
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