Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

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Dr Sario
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Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Dr Sario » Fri Mar 05, 2010 11:06 am

Chapter One: Revenge of the - Oh Crap, Wrong Title!
Jake POV
I morphed into my peregrine falcon morph. I took off. I flew to a government building that the Yeerks posessed.
Someone was flying behind me.
<Who is you? I is Jake.>
<Tobias, Jake seems to be acting like a post-lobotomy patient.>
<Erm, Marco, when did you develop Asperger's?>
<I do not believe I am a patient with Asperger's syndrome.>
<You sound like Ax, in any case. Oh, and knock out Jake.>
<It has been done>, one of the birdies said, and made me land, demorph and faint.

Tobias POV
<AX!>
<Yes, Tobias?>
<Have you got any idea why Jake's behaving like a mentally retarded jerk?>
<Maybe it's to do with Cassie being turned into a zombie?>
Cassie had inexplicably and probobly irreversibly been turned into a zombie. Her parents had freaked out since she'd been late to home, but they were OK with the zombie thing. As was the US Government.
<Nah. That wouldn't explain Marco.>
<They might simply be experiencing a Heroic BSOD.>
<You spend too much time on TVTropes.>
<I do not. TVTropes has enriched my life.>
<I really need to confiscate your computer.>
-discontinuity-
<Why did the scenery change?>
<It might be a result of some Applied Phlebotinum, or Malfunctioning Phlebotinum–>
<S'dup, Ax.>
(imagine a book of this kind of stuff right here)
<Oh look, we found the cause of this problem! It is Misapplied Phlebotinum.>
<Ax, it's an OOC ray.>
"What's an Awk ray?" Jake asked.
<No, OOC. Out Of Character.>
<Actually, it might be Aesoptinium->
I morphed human, snatched the thing out of Ax's hands, switched the only lever to position "2", and rayed everyone.
<Prince Jake, I believe the problem to be cured.>
"Good. Okay, now let's get back to fighting this invasion."

End plot arc. The rest of the season shall proceed.
"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Spencer » Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:18 am

Wait... WHAT?!

Not sure if that's the result you were going for, but that was my reaction.

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Sarimorphs 2 - We got building permission! aka V for Voyeuri

Post by Dr Sario » Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:09 am

Yes.
Chapter 3: No One Knows What It's Like To Be The Bad Man, To Be The Sad Man, Behind-- Oops.
Aximili POV
"Oh great, it's a starfish alien", one of the humans in front of me said.
The human was an adult, a male, and a stranger.
-- FLASH --
A change of scenery. I was in a roughly circular room, lit in the part of the spectrum humans like to call "blue", and filled with merchandise.
-- FLASH --
<I have got you now, Andalite rebel! Now, I shall torture and execute you-- EVIL MINIONS! HERE!> the Visser shouted.
"I-am-not-your-evil-minion-unless-it-lenghtens-my-life-expectancy", a robot said, "My-name-is-Andy."
<Get lost!>
"If-you-want-to-I-could-betray-my-crew."
<GET LOST YOU DAPSENY RUSTBRAIN!>
"Yes-I-am-a-rustbrain. I-am-a-useless-bucket-of-bolts. I-am-not-worthy-to-live. I-am-a-hideous-waste-of-electricity. I-am-not-worthy-to-walk-the-ground-you-have-trod-on. Feel-free-to-disagree-at-any-given-moment."
The Visser chopped the robot in two parts.
"Oh-drat."
The Visser hacked at the robot with his tail, drowned it in custard and did a victory dance on its corpse.
<YOU! Where's the nearest bathtub? I need to get this dapseny custard OFF MY FEET!>
"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Dr Sario » Thu May 27, 2010 10:24 am

Chapter Pi and three quarters: Zqzvlzgbk
Marco POV
<...so, then the Visser pointed the WMD at me, and it sent me back here>, Ax finished recapping his "adventure".
"Yeah yeah", I said, "You've told us that, like a squintizsquillion times."
<No, Marc->
"EEK!"
"Who the f*** was that?"
<A human?>
"Marco! Ax! Come! This guy was snooping around here!" Rachel yelled.
<Rachel, if you were the type of chick to read crappy fantasy, you'd know that was Snape from Hairy Pe- sorry, Harry Potter>, Tobias commented from a nearby tree, <Anyway, maybe it'd be a good idea not to gouge his eyes out.>
"Oh", Rachel said, and turned to this Snape guy, "Sorry. Now GET LOST!"
The guy scampered off.
Then Tobias disappeared.
<Ah. A fascinating example of sub-temporal quantum spatial morphodynamics.>
"Erm, Ax? Since when have you been posessed by the spirit of Mr. Spock? From Star Trek?"
<Rubbish, Marco. Aliens would never appear so human->
"Look, I'm not talking about the appearan-"
<-in fact, they'd look more like Moya on Farscape->
"-I'm talking behavior and-"
<-and Zhaan made no sense->
"-treknobabble-"
<-and they used the wrong word for "hermaphrodite" in season three>, Ax finished.
"Jesus, Ax, you REALLY need to stop watching Farscape!"
<Marco, I have only watched all the episodes fifteen times. Sixty for the good ones, but->
"Jesus", I whispered under my breath.
"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Spencer » Sat May 29, 2010 8:41 am

YAY THE RANDOM IS BACK!

I had fun reading that.

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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Tobias_Marco » Mon May 31, 2010 9:01 am

<Everything makes sense now!>
<But only if you are also the same person who created the user name "Visser 5">
True education, true science, true religion is the search for truth.
Matthew 28:16-20, John 3:14-20

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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Dr Sario » Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:32 am

Unfortunately, I'm not. And I haven't met her in RL either.

Chapter n: Space is not an Ocean
Tobias POV
Aw crap. I was back on the USS Enterprise-Q. Where were the Vorlons when you needed them?
"Mnghbllbmdmmblbl!" Mumbler said. I assumed it to be a greeting.
Scotty barked.
"What you just did is against the laws of physics", the HVC T'Phalr (or Teela) imformed me.
<Aw s'dup Teela.>
"T'PHALR!!"
<T'Phalr.>
Also on the crew: the Helmoraptor, erratic Italian navigator dino (a she, btw); Communications Officer Kz'lp'zqng Klxplng (Klexy); Weaons Officer Rayet, typical kzin; and some psychologist called Davis. Or whatever. Oh, and Scotty the 80-Year-Old Beagle has telekinetic powers.
<Okay, one thing has always bothered me. Why do you always move in only two of the three spatial dimensions? SPACE IS NOT AN OCEAN!>
The STUniverse collapsed on itself at this questioning of its deepest rules.
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Dr Sario » Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:40 am

This is somewhat...Mature...so it's in a spoiler. Contains: Sex.
Spoiler:
[size=200]Chapter Sub-Visser®: We Are So Screwed[/size] [b]Tobias POV[/b] "Mwahahaa! I am The Evil Dictator® of Yet Another Past Earth Planet®! Prepare to die!" <Now, what would Kirk do in this situation>, I wondered aloud. The Evil Dictator® took a transparent FireExtinguisher® out, and sprayed some of its contents into a slot. He (as always, no female aliens unless it's a Captain+Native® day) then closed the slot and pressed a Button®. I woke up and found myself on the floor, and with an inexplicable desire to find a female redtail and, erm, copulate. I tried morphing human, but the horniness persisted. Except that it was now directed towards chicks. Oh drat. I demorphed as the others woke. "Captain, Scotty's raping my pet goldfish!" some NoName© RedShirt® yelled over the InterCom®. The Helmoraptor® woke and scrambled off into the TurboLift®. <Quick! Everyone scramble before Rayet® wakes!> I realized. Except that Rayet® had already bounded into the TurboLift® and stolen a ShuttleCraft®, most likely well on his way to KzinHome®. Klexy got to work with, erm, a Chair®, when I and Teela (T'Phalr) were TransPort®ed into a rather comfy-looking BedRoom® minus clothes, and with me-as-human.
My excuse is that I don't have the (TM) on my CharacterMap®.
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Dr Sario » Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:54 am

Chapter WTF: Cyber Bird
Rachel POV
"Rachel? Tobias still hasn't appeared, and the yeerks are attacking!"
I morphed Uber Kelbrid-Garatron Hybrid of DOOM, just to be stopped by Cassie da Zombie muttering something about eating my brains if I killed any yeerks. I hopped over her.
The yeerks were getting the better of my morph (there were, like, a billion of them!) when a giant Sario Rip opened. I took the opportunity to run away and demorph.
A tall, Japanese woman fell out. The yeerks attacked her, so she shot what was essentially a mini-nuke at them.
"Major Kusanagi Motoko", she introduced herself, "Who were they, and who are you?"
"I'm Rachel, that's Marco, the alien's Ax, the zombie's called Cassie, the talking hawk that appears to have disappeared is Tobias and then... Marco, what happened to Jake?"
"Visser Three kidnapped him."
"Oh $hıt. Anyway, we're fighting the yeerks, basically brain-stealing parasites."
"Like a virus?"
"A bit"
"So, they ghost-hack people and force them to bend to their will? Hmm. Do you know where their central computer is?"
"Um, they're organic slugs. However, they need to get Kandrona radiation every three days or they die. So, want to help us destroy their Kandronas?"
"What year is it?" the Major asked urgently.
I gave her the date, then asked her why she'd asked.
"Because I come from 2061."

LATER:
Vzzt! Tobias appeared.
"Tobias, we have a new recruit: a robot from the future. She's Major Kusanagi Motoko", Marco said.
<Pseudonym.>
"Huh?"
<Think of it as a Westerner coming and telling you she was Major Jane Excalibur.>
"So Motoko is, like, Excalibur?"
<NO! Kusanagi is the name of a sword which is part of the Japanese Imperial Regalia. And Japanese put their family names first.>
<So, are we letting her on the team?>
"Yes", I said.
"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."
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Re: Sarimorphs 2 - Look! We got building permission!

Post by Ellimist » Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:39 pm

Haha. Different from the others, and good.
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