REBIRTH OF THE SAINT - New Preview 06/06/2010

[Luna May]

Ooh, I like it. The guy has a slippery quality that seems much more natural than that of most cardboard-cut villains. The enrite thing has a realistic touch to it- the characters seem unusual and... well, BIG in a way, important, powerful, dangerous, you name it, but they have sane concerns. Ones I can relate to as a reader. I could instantly relate to Neropha (less to Azmaveth, but hey, he's the mystery-shrouded villain. And we're in her head, not his, though I doubt looking in there would tell us much plot-wise. Psychologically, sure, but not plot-wise). The AU is understandable, relatable, you know?
I enjoyed the offhand way Azmaveth is toying with Insecure I'm-Not-A-Hooker girl. At first he did seem a bit like the Mysterious For the Sake of Seeming Evil and All-Knowing villain, the guy with the plan, sitting in fine clothes with the pretty girl, playing it cool and seemingly focusing his attention on trivialities that concern himself (vanity, is that the right word? I'm not sure...) You get that a lot with villains. The thing is, he seems to be doing it in-plot, not for the sake of a cheap plot device used to create suspense. Of course it adds to the character, and even defines him at some point, but I get the feeling that he's doing this his way, that he's enjoying himself by playing with her. In some sad instances, I have come across books in which the author wants an idea or a notion (mostly moral) to be voiced, so they seem to yank the character most fitting for the job in their eyes right out of the storyline, hollow it out of all the meaning it accumulated so far, use it like a puppet to voice the obviously OOC opinions, and then refill then as quickly as possible and dump them back at the bar, sipping at their beer as though nothing unusual just happened. It's like the characters are briefly possessed by Lame Author Demons.
I got a bit carried away there, but my point was this: The former is not the case here. Your characters are believable up to a point where empathy shares a border with friendliness. I have no idea how you achieve this with such few words, but keep it up.

Hmmmm, I remember meaning to mention the Unspoken Plan Guarantee somewhere, but I can't find any decent stop to stick it in. Ah well, quicknote time.

*Probable villainess slash possible ally is humiliated. Yay char depth.
*And yet they swallow their pride when they need to, as seen in the relatively low profiles and fake vulnerability. Yay... that.
*Said villainess has a sword. Yay swords.
*Villain seems finespun, but can most probably kick ass when he wants to. Yay kickass villains.
*Emperor's balcony is higher than theirs. Not yay.
*A fight is near. And it's bound to be cool. Yay fights-that-are-bound-to-be-cool.
*There's a prophecy hidden somewhere. I don't like that. Another unyay.
*A master that taught her well? As long as he doesn't fit the old Wise Man stereotype, I'm okay with that. Innocent untill proven otherwise, I guess.
*Obscure signals? I hope the fake guards aren't just a random group of men scraped from the marketplace at random, or they're bound to miss that. Then again, I don't think that's what they are.
*Lions are now tigers. I wonder where the ad ludum venatorium kitties come from. I bet their life stories aren't pleasant.
*How cold is it, exactly? The average Israeli freezing point varies from, say, the standard Canadian freezing point (I'd know, having experienced both at some point).

Okay, I think I got most of my thoughts across.

[capnnerefir]

That's very helpful feedback, Luna, and I want to address it soon. Right now, though, I've got a bit of a problem.

See, on the first of May, Gina and I got forced out of our apartment by our landlord, who was a real b******. We were panicking and needed a place to go. We had been renting a room in a house, and one of the other people in the house was getting kicked out as well. We decided that it would be a good idea to move in together, so we got a two bedroom apartment in a nice complex and she became our roommate. At first, things were pretty good.

Unfortunately, on the day we moved in, she got fired from her job. This meant that she wouldn't be able to pay her share of the rent for this month. At the time, that was alright because she was a nice enough person and we figured she would be getting a job soon. But as the weeks went on, she didn't even attempt to find a job. And then she got a boyfriend and started spending all day with him. Which would have been fine, if she had a job or was trying to find one. But she wasn't even bothering.

We might have been able to ignore that, except that we had problems of our own to deal with. For one thing, since there were some complications with my payment methods at work, we were out of money for a bit and were pretty close to starving. Meanwhile, she managed to afford a steady supply of cigarettes and take-out food; mind you, she somehow manages this without having a job.

Just recently, she found out that she's getting a check for a few thousand dollars. Yay! Except that she still isn't paying her share of the rent. And on top of that, the money order I sent to the leasing office has gone missing and it will take too long for us to get the refund on that. We're already late on the rent (due largely to the fact that our roommate wouldn't pay). So now we really, really, REALLY need money.

We're working on quite a few things to get it, and one of the things is this:

As you may know, Rebirth of the Saint has undergone numerous revisions. So many, in fact, that the previously completed edition (the one previously available here) is now almost entirely obsolete. While there are still elements that will be retained in the current draft, a great deal of it no longer matters. It's just sort of sitting around. So here's the deal:

I am selling electronic copies (in .PDF format) of this book. You can get them for $8.00 (U.S.D.), which you can give me via paypal (see the link in my signature or PM me for details).

There are a couple notes I will make about this. Mostly just legal stuff that I don't think I need to worry about with anyone her eon AFF, but things I should make clear anyway:
1.) As soon as a work is created, it is legally the property of the creator, under U.S. copyright law. This means that I do, in fact, own the legal copyright on this work.
2.) In addition to that, I have registered this with the U.S. Copyright offices. I legally own this book and everything in it.
3.) You may not copy, modify, and/or redistribute the book in any way without my express permission.
4.) All the other stuff that the official, legal copyright covers is also covered here. For more information, Google those laws.

Also, a few notes on the actual book:
Although finished, there are enormous sections that I'm not happy with (those being the sections that motivated me to re-write the book in the first place), so don't read too much into it. Lots of things are changing in the current draft.

That's about it. So if you want to help me out, you can buy a copy of Rebirth of the Saint for 8 U.S.D. Or just donate money to us. That'd help too.

[Zophar]

So do I get a copy or are you going to make your blood pay?

[capnnerefir]

You already have a copy. I emailed you one months ago, and there's also one on that desktop computer at mom's house, and I think on your laptop as well.

[Zophar]

So its the same one? I was afraid you had revised it to the point of being a different breed

[capnnerefir]

Sort of. The version I'm working on now does have some MAJOR revisions, particularly to the earlier parts, but it's still recognizable. However, that version isn't the one I'm trying to sell at the moment.