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Imagine a picture of Cassie turning into the head of an Anati. (Don’t’ know what that is yet? You will. Just read the fic and it’ll make sense)
61: The Judgment
AUTHOR’S NOTE
So I realized something. When K.A.A. was writing book 54, she left Cassie on Earth at the end of it. I don’t know if it was because K.A.A. didn’t like her anymore or what, but I do know that Cassie was, at that point, removed from the books.
I’ve decided to do the same thing here. Like Jake and Santorelli, it’s time for Cassie to leave.
Part of this decision is that I can’t write Cassie well. She and I are completely the opposite person and I can’t write her without making her sound like an idiot so it’s best if I don’t try. Besides, she’s barely in any of my fics anyway. And it made way for the next Animorph...
To the three of you who like Cassie (and I don’t think you even read these): sorry. To those of you who, like me, want her head on a pike: CELEBRATE!!!
Enjoy or go to hell.
If I owned the Animorphs, you wouldn’t be reading this for free.
And if I owned Streetlight Manifesto, I'd have better things to do than write fan fiction.
Chapter 1
My name is Cassie. I can’t tell you my last name or where I live. There was a time when I could. For the first thirteen years of my life, I could have told you all of that. And four years ago, I could have done it, too. But not anymore.
The first time I had to start keeping secrets was because the Yeerks came to Earth. I’m sure you know all about that. If not, then you really need to go back and learn about it.
Now, I have to lie for the same reason. The Yeerks are back. They’re in a new town, so we are too. We created new identities. But, see, we can’t let this war become public. So we can’t let you know what town it is. I won’t even swear it’s in the Unites States of America.
Long story short, not all of the Yeerks were defeated. Some fled on the Blade ship. They ran into a being called The One and now they work for him. He gave them some new, deadly hosts. He gave them back their leader, Esplin 9644, formerly known as Visser Three/One. He even gave them David, the one who betrayed us.
Who are we? The Animorphs, of course. But not like you might remember us. Some of us are gone. Ax was captured by the Yeerks and is now the Visser’s host. That was what set us onto this war in the first place.
We lost Jake, too. He sacrificed himself to destroy a hanger full of Yeerk ships that could unleash their plague on the galaxy again, much worse that it was already. We lost Jake, but, because of a deal he had cut with the Crayak, we gained someone else.
Rachel was back from the dead. Jake bought her life with his own. Now, it’s almost like she was never dead. If dying had changed her at all, it’s hard for even me to tell. She’s still the same strong, fearless Rachel she always was.
Marco’s still here. Still cracking jokes, still being paranoid; still Marco. I know he hurts a lot since Jake’s death, but, because he’s Marco, he won’t let us know or help. He hates pity, even when he deserves it.
Tobias is still here, but he’s nothing like he was when we first met him. He’s our leader now, for one thing. He’s human again, thanks to Crayak. I don’t know what to think of Tobias. It’s like he’s three different people. Sometimes, he as kind and gentle as people say I am. Other times, he as cold and ruthless as Marco can be. Still others, he was hot-blooded and reckless as Rachel. But he hasn’t gotten anyone killed and that’s always a plus in my book. I worry though; I don’t know how far he’ll go to win. I don’t know where he draws the line. Sometimes, I’m not even sure there is a line.
We have two new members as well. One is Jeanne. She’s French and, we recently learned, Rachel’s step-sister. She and Marco like each other, but she’s too in awe of Marco (because of the whole Animorph thing) to make a move. And Marco, being Marco, is kind of clueless when it comes to things like this.
Out last new member is Alloran-Sirinial-Fangor. He’s Tobias’ Andalite half-brother; Elfangor’s other son. Alloran’s a computer genius; he’s as good as the Chee. I don’t know Alloran all that well, but he seems like a good kid.
And, of course, there’s me, Cassie. You probably remember me. You might have even read about me in history class. Did you ever see a picture of me? Well, if you did, you wouldn’t recognize me.
We were in disguise in our new town. Marco now had a blue faux-hawk and matching contact lenses. His usually stylish wardrobe was traded in for tacky shorts and shirts from bands I’ve never even heard of. Rachel’s hair, for maybe the first time ever, was cut short. Aside from that, she looked the same. As for me…
“Try this one on,” Rachel ordered. She had given me a makeover and was making sure it stuck. My hair was long and straight now. Contact lenses made my eyes green. And my cloths were all…well, the stuff Rachel would make me wear.
Most of us were at the mall that day. Rachel had decided to buy Alloran some new cloths. She dragged me and Jeanne along, too. Tobias and Marco said they had some work to do and disappeared before they could be questioned.
I was glad those two were finally spending some time together. They had never been close, but I think it’s because they never knew each other. Now, they seemed to be working better together. Or maybe it was just my imagination.
Rachel handed me the s*** she was holding and then turned to Jeanne. “Jeanne, you’re pretty much perfect. Just one thing needs to go.”
“What?” Jeanne asked. She was almost as beautiful as Rachel, really. I couldn’t imagine what Rachel wanted to change.
“That hat has to go.” Jeanne had taken to wearing a green army barrette.
Jeanne shook her head. “Rachel, this hat was Santorelli’s. He wanted me to have it.”
“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know. Okay, yeah, keep the hat. Maybe we’ll work around it. Yeah, that’s good. Let’s get you in some cammo. It’ll be a good look for you.”
Santorelli was one of us briefly. He was a hardened military man about twice our age. He was a Controller for a while; a bodyguard for Visser Six. He died on a mission to hide the Time Matrix where it could never be found. He and Jeanne had a special relationship, since they were the only two new members at the time.
We were heading for the Army-Navy store to work on Jeanne’s new look. I was happy because that meant Rachel would stop worrying about mine for a second. Alloran looked about as happy as I did. It was kind of weird to see him smile, since his human morph looked almost exactly like Tobias.
Rachel reached the store. And then, everything stopped. I heard Marco moan, “Oh no. Not this again.”
Chapter 2
Tobias spoke almost right after Marco did. “Alright, which one of you is it? Drode? Crayak? Ellimist?”
I wasn’t surprised to see the two of them. We had been through the whole time-freeze thing before and it had stopped surprising us long ago. The same thing with people popping up when they shouldn’t.
Marco and Tobias were standing about ten feet away from us. Marco was holding a burger, dripping with condiments. Tobias was holding a very large box of french-fries. Alloran’s eyes lit up. Silently, Tobias offered the box to him.
THE THIRD TIME IS INDEED THE CHARM, TOBIAS came the answer. The voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. We knew that voice. The Ellimist.
He appeared before us as some kind of alien. He was vaguely humanoid, but clearly different. Instead of hair, he had magnificent, rainbow-colored quills. Four wings came from his back looking like an angel’s. He had four arms and four blue eyes as well. He stood on two feet. I noticed that the tops of his feet were like talons. It looked almost like he could rotate a foot to stand on a talon instead.
“New look,” Marco commented.
“A very old one, actually,” Rachel corrected. “It’s been a while, Toomin.”
“Toomin…” the Ellimist mused. “It has been eons since I’ve been called that. Hello, Rachel. Hello, Animorphs.”
“Toomin?” Tobias asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Oh. Yeah. Didn’t I tell you guys? Just before I…died…the Ellimist told me his life story,” Rachel explained. “Do you mind if I call you Toomin?”
“It is considered improper conduct for one to refer to a gamer by his real name when he is playing his game,” the Ellimist answered.
“I’m betting that’s a no on the whole Toomin thing,” Marco said to Rachel.
“Well, I’m not playing games anymore,” Tobias said. “Just get out of here, Toomin. I’ve had enough of your games. Your games are what took my father from me. And my mother. And my body, mind, and soul..”
I was surprised. None of us had ever spoken to the Ellimist like that before. I knew Tobias didn’t particularly care for him, but he had never been so open about it.
Then I remembered Crayak. Crayak had made Tobias human again. It was Tobias, more than any of us, who had advocated helping Crayak in his war against The One. What had the price of Tobias’ humanity been? Did he go over to Crayak’s side?
Crayak was evil. This I knew. The Ellimist may not exactly have been good, but he was trying to help humans.
“Thank you, Cassie,” the Ellimist said.
“Oh,” Tobias broke in, “now he’s back with the mind-reading. How about you let us keep our private thoughts to ourselves? You’re no better than a Yeerk.”
We all gasped. The Ellimist turned to Tobias. “If it makes you feel better, I cannot read your mind. Crayak prevents that.”
“I already like him better than you.”
Marco tapped Tobias on the shoulder. “Uh, dude? The Ellimist could destroy you and everyone you ever met.”
“No. He needs us. That’s why he’s here.”
That might have been true, but Tobias was walking a dangerously thin line.
“Yes, Tobias, I do need you. All of you. While Crayak and The One fight their war, some things are going neglected. Some things need a push in the right direction. And some things need to be pushed away from each other.”
“And because you ‘never interfere’ you need us to do the pushing,” Tobias concluded.
“More or less,” the Ellimist answered wryly.
“Then I’ll go with less,” Tobias replied.
“You don’t even know what he wants us to do,” I argued.
“Doesn’t matter. We’re in a war here. And it isn’t a part of his game anymore, so he isn’t interested in helping us.”
“You don’t speak for everyone,” I answered. “We should at least hear him out.”
“I’m with Cassie,” Marco agreed. “I don’t particularly care for these little adventures he likes to send us on, but they may be useful. Like the Iskoort episode.”
“I will agree with Marco,” Jeanne said. “If it may be useful, it is not a chance we can pass up.”
Rachel shook her head. “I’m with Tobias. All you care about is your game, Ellimist. We’re in a war here; we don’t have time for a game. Unless this helps us, I’m against it.”
“Alloran?” I asked.
<I will do as my Prince commands.>
“Three to two, then,” I said. “Go on, Ellimist.”
He nodded. “Thank you again, Cassie. I will do as I have done in the past. I will tell you the problem. I will give you the possible results. Then, I will give you a choice.”
I thought I heard Tobias mutter something about a bull under his breath. The Ellimist continued. “You will choose how this story ends. Many can be saved or many can be killed. What happens is up to you.”
Chapter 3
We listened as the Ellimist explained what was going on to us. “The One and Crayak are fighting their war. They have agreed to certain rules not dissimilar to the ones that govern our game. I was employed to enforce these rules.”
“And you should know that what you are doing now is strictly against them,” came a new voice. The door to one of the bathrooms opened. Behind it was a black expanse with stars zipping by.
Someone came through that door. A tall, very thin man with black hair and grey skin. He wore an expensive, black suit. In one hand, he carried a briefcase. There was something…off about him. Everything seemed off-color, like it was just a shade away from what it should be. The overall effect was disturbing.
“Who are you?” Tobias demanded.
“Like you, I am a servant of the people, Tobias.” His voice was wrong, too. He stressed the letter s, almost like he was a snake talking. His tone and inflections were odd. They were…alien was he best word. His rhythms were off, too. Everything about this man was just a bit off.
“Which people?” the Ellimist prompted.
I felt like he should have given an evil smile, but he didn’t. His face remained as immobile as Tobias’. “Whichever people pay me what I ask, of course.” His voice was low, throaty.
He went on. “In this particular incident, I have been hired by…let us call him The One. He intends to make certain that the rules are obeyed by all parties and, to be sadly honest, he does not trust you, Ellimist.”
“What rules am I breaking?” the Ellimist demanded.
“You are offering an opportunity to one side and not to the other. That is in strict violation of rule seven-hundred thirteen, subsection C. I have a signed copy right here if you would like proof.”
The Ellimist shook his head. “So that’s why you’re here? I do not need to be watched.”
“Regardless, I am only here to serve my purpose...just like the rest of you. Now, I believe we should make sure that everyone is present first.”
The door behind the man opened again. This time, our enemies came out. First was the biggest Hork-Bajir I’ve ever seen. Guraff 427. We had met him on our last mission. He didn’t seem like one of the bad ones. Maybe there was still hope for him.
Next came the Visser in Ax’s body. It was hard, seeing Ax. I was a Controller, briefly. I knew what he was feeling. But the Yeerk in my head had been kind; she turned into a friend. Ax was a slave to the monster who had killed his brother and countless others. Every moment must have been torture.
Last came the rat. David. He was once an Animorph. Then he tried to kill us, so we trapped him in the body of a rat. The One gave him back his morphing powers and now he’s after us again.
The suited man straightened his tie. “I believe we are missing just one last member.” Then, the Drode appeared. The Drode, with his purple, wrinkly body, many jointed hands, and all-too-human face. The Drode, wearing a shower cap and a pink bathrobe.
I know the Drode is the right hand of Crayak. He’s nearly all powerful. Either could destroy us without even thinking about. I know all this. I still laughed so hard I cried. So did everyone else. Even Tobias, who I didn’t think remembered how to laugh or cry.
The Drode glared at the suited man. Then, his face broke into a smile. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my best friend. I haven’t seen you since that…incident…in New Mexico.”
“Ah…yes, Black Mesa. Such a sweet memory.”
“And more than profitable for you, as I recall,” the Drode added. “How is Gordon?”
“That, I am afraid, is none of your concern.”
“Fine. What about Shepherd? Can I have him?”
“As I have told you twenty-seven thousand three-hundred and seventy-nine times: no.”
“But you aren’t even using him!” the Drode whined.
“Hey!” Rachel shouted. I managed to wipe the tears out of my eyes in time to look. “Is that my robe!?”
The Drode shrugged. “Did you leave it on the bathroom door in the Reliquary?”
“That is my robe! What…why…you were…” Rachel sputtered, either too furious or confused for words.
Tobias just shook his head. “Imaeus …why?”
“Because yours is too coarse,” the Drode answered.
Imaeus? That wasn’t right. It almost sounded like Tobias and the Drode were friends. No, that couldn’t be right. Tobias would never go that far to Crayak’s side. Would he?
“Why were you using my shower at all?” Tobias demanded.
“Hey, it takes work to look this good!”
Marco decided it was time to say what I was thinking. “Everyone stop. Tobias, Drode, you two have some explaining to do. Since when are you friends? Since when do either of you have any friends at all?”
Tobias answered him. “Remember how the Ellimist told Rachel his life story? Well, the Drode told me his. He’s not so bad after all. No so different from us, at least.”
The Ellimist glared at the suited man. “Are you satisfied now?” he demanded.
“Perfectly. You may continue, Ellimist.”
Chapter 4
The Ellimist let out a great sigh. “In one week, three fleets will meet each other. One is an Anati fleet. One fleet is Helmacron. The final is Garatron. When these three meet, they will destroy each other.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Rachel butted in. “I can understand the Garatrons being a threat; I’ve fought them. And I can get the Anati, since they apparently fought off the Yeerks pretty handedly. But the Helmacrons? They aren’t dangerous. They’re just annoying.”
“At your current size, yes. But you must understand some things. The Anati are a proud people. The Helmacrons insulted them and the Anati had to retaliate. The two fleets will collide and the Anati will almost certainly destroy the Helmacrons.”
“So what’s the problem?” Tobias asked.
“The Helmacron have enlisted the aid of the Garatrons. The Garatrons exist in extremely low numbers. And the Helmacrons possess a doomsday weapon.”
<What is it?> the Visser demanded. I could see the wheels turning in his head at the thought of a new weapon.
“A shrink ray that will activate if their flagship is destroyed. Any within three light years of the flagship will be brought down to Helmacron size with no way to return.”
<So a few aliens get shrunk. No problem of ours,> David insisted.
“It is worse than that. The shrink ray will work differently on the Anati. It will destroy them. As for the Garatron…as I said, they exist in severely low numbers. With the fleet shrunk, the Garatrons on it will be unable to reproduce. Their numbers are low enough that, with that many missing from the gene pool, inbreeding will lead to the collapse of the race within three generations.”
The Drode clapped his hands. “I love this game. Ellimist, you can still throw a good party.”
“This slaughter needs to be stopped, Drode.”
“Says you,” the Drode shot back.
“I offer you all the chance to help me. If you succeed, I can guarantee that it will aid you in the future.”
The Drode closed his eyes. “Ah, I see. Yes, indeed it would help. Alright, Ellimist, I’ll help.”
“The One is also in favor of this,”
“So what do we do?” I asked. “How do we help?”
The Ellimist smiled at me. “How do we help. Not ‘What’s in it for us?’ or ‘Why should we listen to you.’ That, Cassie, is why I choose you to lead my team.”
“Team? We’re picking teams now?” Marco asked.
The Drode nodded. “Of course. Three races. Three teams. I choose Tobias.”
“Esplin,” the suited man decided.
“I think it’s pretty obvious how these teams will work out,” Marco said. “The Drode already chose Tobias. Next, he’ll choose Rachel because she’s his favorite. And then they’ll take Alloran and make their little family complete.
“Since I’ll never help the guy who I’m fighting a war against, I’ll go with the Ellimist. So will Cassie and Jeanne. That leaves the One with Esplin, Guraff, and David. Why draw it out?”
“Because you’re wrong,” the Drode answered. “Think about it. If Esplin, Guraff, and David are all on the same team, they’ll probably just try to kill you. They can’t be trusted. So we have to break them up. So I’ll take Tobias, Rachel, and Guraff.”
The Ellimist nodded. “I will have Cassie, Jeanne, and,” he added, shooting a smug look at the man in the suit, “David.”
I was surprised. He was putting David on a team with us? Well, I guess it was David or Esplin, but still… Then, I remembered that the Ellimist never did something without a reason. He wanted David here. I just didn’t know why.
The suited man nodded. “Then I will have Esplin, Marco, and Alloran.”
Marco shook his head. “No way. Not both of them. No one will get my jokes!”
The suited man remained motionless, but the Ellimist smiled. “Humor is important. Without laughter, what are we?”
“Him,” the Drode answered, jerking his thumb at the man in the suit. “But I’m not giving up my team.” Like some kind of twisted miracle, Tobias, Rachel, and Guraff were suddenly wearing black shirts with “GO DRODE!” in big red letters.
“Then I will trade Jeanne for Alloran. I trust this is satisfactory, Marco?”
“It’ll have to do.”
We broke off into our teams then. I watched Tobias and Rachel go to the Drode without any sort of hesitation. I didn’t understand it. The Drode was a creature of violence and hate. He destroyed for the fun of it. How cold they not despise him?
Once, years ago, Crayak had offered Rachel almost unlimited power. He preyed on her sense of justice. He tried to turn her into a monster by getting her to give in not to her darker side but to her better part. It was cruel, twisted, insidious; and it had almost worked.
Had Crayak gotten Tobias and Rachel? I didn’t know. I was afraid that he did. Was there anything Tobias wouldn’t have traded to be with Rachel, even his soul? I don’t know.
<You’re starting to realize it,> David said in my head. <You’re starting to realize that the people you trust aren’t the people you should trust. You don’t really know them. And if you trust them, they’ll just betray you. They already have.>
“Not everyone’s you, David.”
It was a good reply. It should have shut him up. Except that he replied with something just as good.
<Not everyone’s you, Cassie.>
Chapter 5
As suddenly as time had stopped, it started up again. But we weren’t in the mall anymore. We were aboard the Reliquary, Tobias’ ship.
I didn’t particularly like it. It was a war machine with enough power to take down an Andalite Dome ship. It was as black as the Blade ship, with little streaks of white to give it camouflage in space. It had two long, sharp-looking wings extending from the egg-shaped cockpit.
The cockpit was pretty big. In the front was the command center, with the pilot’s chair and a place for an Andalite (or possibly a Taxxon) to stand and pilot the ship. At the rear was a living area, complete with a kitchen, bathroom, and a pair of twin beds.
Tobias, Rachel, and Alloran lived here, on the ship. Alloran preferred to sleep outside, but he came in when the weather was bad or it was too cold. It was their home. Which was why Rachel was complaining.
“No way. I am not having Esplin and David in my home. Under no circumstances. Just shove them out of the airlock now!”
“What about Guraff?” I asked.
She shrugged. “He’s on our team. We don’t have much choice there. But as soon as this is over, he’s out, too.”
Tobias shook his head. “If I shove them out now, they’ll know where we park this thing. That isn’t a chance I’m taking. Esplin, have your Blade ship meet us over the town. Cloaked.”
Marco shook his head. “If we just let him out, he’ll attack us. He’s like a rabid raccoon.”
We all starred at each other for a few moments. We couldn’t figure it out. I decided it was time for me to say something. “Look, everyone, listen up. We’re a team now, whether we like it or not. We agreed to this. Now we have to work together. That means we’ll have to trust each other.”
Everyone but Jeanne, Tobias, Guraff, and I laughed. When Alloran noticed that Tobias wasn’t laughing along, he got kind of embarrassed and stopped. Tobias nodded to me and then stepped forward.
“I’ll trust my team. I trust Rachel more than I trust myself. And Guraff…I trust you.” Tobias had met Guraff during our last mission. They held each other as hostages while Guraff waited for a ride off of a Yeerk space station. There was something different about that Yeerk. He didn’t remind me of Aftran, one of the Peace Movement Yeerks. He reminded me of…I don’t know who. But it was someone I knew.
Guraff nodded. “And I trust you, young beast.” That was his name for Tobias. It was because Tobias’ father was Prince Elfangor; Beast Elfangor to the Yeerks. I go the impression that Guraff admired both father and son. Guraff turned to Rachel. “And I trust you.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because you didn’t want to throw me out of the airlock. You will not betray me; not until this mission is over, at least.”
I nodded. He was perceptive. But now came the hard part. I turned to Alloran. “I trust you, Alloran.” Then, I turned to David. To say that I trusted him would be a blatant lie and everyone would know it. But I had to say something. After all, I was the one who started talking about trust. “David, I trust you.”
<No you don’t. And I don’t trust you, Cassie. How could I? You’re the one who came up with your little ‘trap me as a rat’ plan. None of you can be trusted.>
“For once, I’m with David,” Marco agreed, then looked sick at the thought. “Cassie, are you really asking me to trust Esplin? Have you finally gone completely insane?”
Tobias shook his head. “It isn’t about mutual trust. It’s about knowledge. I know Guraff won’t betray me because The One wants us to work together. There’s profit in this for David and Esplin if they work with us. I trust that even Esplin will be intelligent enough not to betray us.”
That was one of the things that disturbed me about Tobias. He and I often reached the same conclusions, but he got there with cold, ruthless logic while I got there with my heart.
Tobias’ cold logic got to the rest of them. Reluctantly, they grumbled their lies about trust.
“Okay, next question,” Tobias began. “How do we get there? Rachel, Guraff, and I can’t take the Reliquary because Guraff will need to feed. And I won’t use any more Yeerk ships than we have to, so Alloran, Cassie, and Tasty will use this ship.”
Rachel glared at him like she was about to argue. Tobias slowly shook his head. And, like a miracle, Rachel didn’t argue. I’d never seen that before.
Esplin spoke up. <I must have my guards with me. When I go to feed, these two,> he swiveled a stalk eye from Marco to Jeanne, <will attempt to free my host. There must be no chance of that happing. I must use the Blade ship.>
Tobias shook his head. “I’m not leaving those two alone on your Blade ship. Not a chance.”
<I thought you trusted me,> Esplin mocked.
“I trust you not to try to kill us. I don’t trust you not to have them overpowered and infested as soon as you get in your ship.”
“If I may make a suggestion?” Guraff offered. It was weird to hear him speak. He had a Hork-Bajir body but he sounded very intelligent. Then again, his host was a Seer. And a voluntary Controller, so I wasn’t even sure who was really in charge.
Esplin sighed then nodded. <Go on.>
“The Blade ship has a panic transport. In the event of massive damage to the main ship, there is a smaller ship that can be launched from the Blade ship. It is entirely self sufficient and is Z-space capable. And all of its doors can be sealed shut. They cannot be opened from outside of the room.”
David nodded; a weird thing to see a rat do. <I see where you’re going. Esplin takes that ship. That way, he can lock the door and feed without the others stealing his host. No one starves, no one gets infested because Marco and the girl have Esplin outnumbered.>
The Visser wasn’t happy about it. But it was the only alternative. In the end, Esplin, Marco, and Jeanne took the panic ship. Tobias, Rachel, and Guraff rode in the Blade ship, since Tobias really did trust Guraff’s promise not to have them infested; there might be hope for both of them yet. Alloran, David, and I were off in the Reliquary.
Just before we docked with the Blade ship to move out our passengers, Tobias turned and gave Alloran his final instructions. “Cassie’s in charge of you while I’m gone. Obey her as you would me.” Then, with a little smile, he added, “No wild parties while I’m gone, you hear?”
“And David,” Rachel added, not sounding at all like she was joking, “if you touch anything I’ll let Tobias eat you.”
Chapter 6
Alloran, since he knew what he was doing, flew the ship. “Alloran, before we go, can we stop by my place first? There’s something I need to tell my family.”
<What is it? You can call them from here.>
“Oh. Yeah. Good point.” I had known that, in the back of my mind. But what I really wanted was to see them again. I was close with my family. I missed them now. And I missed Ronnie.
The others don’t like Ronnie, I think. They probably feel like he stole me from Jake. But it wasn’t like that. Jake and I were done with before I even met Ronnie. And he never asked me out; I asked him.
He was an incredible guy. He accepted all the terrible secrets of my past with just a casual shrug. He knew what I had to do and he didn’t blame me for it. He didn’t even blame me when I had to go off to fight again.
But more than that, he really understood what was important to me. He was as much into animals and nature as I was. But he never let anything come between us. That was the biggest difference between him and Jake, I think. With Jake, the war was always first. I don’t blame him; that’s the way it had to be. But that doesn’t change the fact that that’s the way it was. The war would always come before me. That wasn’t the case with Ronnie.
When a hologram of him appeared in the middle of the cockpit, I almost tried to hug him. I managed to keep my composure; no need for David to see that. “Cassie? Where are you? You don’t usually use holograms.”
“I know. I’m on a ship right now… Look, Ronnie, I need to tell you something. I’m going away for maybe a week or two and I might not be able to call you because it might be too dangerous to send the signals. Don’t worry if you don’t hear from me for a bit.”
“That it?” That was all he asked. He knew better than to ask me where I was going or what I was doing. I hadn’t come out and told him that the Yeerks were back, but he knew.
“And…” I didn’t want to say it in front of David. But I had no choice. Ronnie was expecting it. “And I love you.”
“I love you too.” I expected the hologram to disappear, but it didn’t he stood there, looking at me. “I love you,” he repeated. “And I can’t believe I’m doing this as a hologram, but I can’t wait on it. I can’t wait until you get back to ask you.”
“Ask me what?” My heart was hammering at my chest, trying to get out.
“Cassie, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” I said instantly. Then, “No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Well, which is it? This is kind of an important question.”
“I want to. There isn’t anything I want more. But I can’t. Not yet.”
I couldn’t really see his eyes as a hologram, so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Luckily, he said it. “It’s someone else, isn’t it? Jake. I should have known. I should have—”
“It’s not Jake, Ronnie. Jake’s…he’s gone. I’ll never see him again. It’s just…there are some things I have to do.”
“I know all about these ‘things,’ Cassie. You think I don’t know that the Yeerks are back? You think I’m such an idiot I can’t figure it out?”
“No, Ronnie. I know you know. That’s why I didn’t tell you. You’ve known it as long as I have. I have to fight them, Ronnie. I have to.”
“Why? Why you? We’ve got Tri-I. There are the other Animorphs. You could get anyone to do it. Why you?”
“Because I have no choice!”
“There’s always a choice, Cassie. And now your choice is this. War or peace. Love or fight. Me or the Yeerks.”
“Ronnie, you can’t do this to me, I—”
“And you can’t do this to me, Cassie. I can’t live like this. I can’t sit here not knowing if you’re alive or dead. I can’t sit here waiting for you.”
“Ronnie—”
“You told me I meant the world to you, Cassie, that there was nothing more important to you than me. The girl I love isn’t just talk. Now you have to decide what’s more important: me or everything else.”
“Do you even hear yourself? How can you be so selfish?”
“Back at you. You’re so caught up in this war of yours that you’ve forgotten about the rest of us. Can’t you see how you’re hurting us?”
“Ronnie, I don’t have a choice,” I repeated.
His hologram sat down. I guess there was a chair behind him. His voice was low, now, quieter. “Yeah, you do. You know it, too. It’s easier just to say that you have to fight. Then you can justify it to yourself, to everyone around you. But you always told me that you never stopped believing in peace.
“You once gave it all up. You quit the war. You quit the entire human race. All for Aftran, a Yeerk. I know, I know,” he said quickly, before I could interrupt him, “she wasn’t like the others. And in the end, it turned out that you did a very good thing.
“But here’s my point, Cassie. You gave up everything. For her. For the enemy. How can you tell me you love me if you aren’t willing to do the same for me?”
Chapter 7
<He has severed the communication,> Alloran said unnecessarily.
<Oh,> David taunted me. <Is it hard to decide, Cassie? What’s the ‘right’ thing to do? What would good, moral Cassie do? I wonder, did you think this hard before you decided to trap me?>
I glared at him. He only laughed. <Did I hit a nerve?>
<Enough,> Alloran snapped. <The only thing I hate as much as a Yeerk is a traitor.>
<Ah, the little Andalite trying to sound tough. Kind of reminds you of old times, eh Cassie? Here we are again. The hypocrite, the coward, and me, stuck in the middle.>
<Did you just call me a coward?> Alloran’s voice was ice.
<That’s right, I did. You’re just like Ax was, you know that? Just a scared kid hiding in your brother’s shadow. Only your brother…well, he’s just a bird, now isn’t he?>
Alloran’s tail twitched. <You will not speak ill of my Prince. I warn you of this only once, traitor.>
<What are you going to do, alien? Use that fancy tail of yours on me? That’s the coward’s way out. If you kill me, you don’t have to face your problems. You don’t have to face your fears. So do it. Prove me right.>
“Both of you cut it out,” I ordered. “We’re a team now.”
<And I’ve seen how you treat your teammates, Cassie. You act all nice and sweet. And then, you betray them.>
“Not unless they betray me first.” That kept him quiet for an hour or so.
But, of course, that didn’t last for long. <So, when do I get to hear what happened to the almighty Jake?>
“What do you mean?” I answered guardedly.
<I mean he obviously isn’t here. And Tobias, of all people, is running this show. So what happened? Did he die on you?> David laughed. <No, no, no. I bet he cut and ran. He did, didn’t he? He ran away. Just like you’re going to, Cassie.>
“Jake didn’t run. I’m not running. No one’s running.”
<Oh? So where is he? And if you aren’t even thinking about running away, why don’t you just call your boyfriend back and tell him so?>
I couldn’t respond to David. And I forbade Alloran from doing so, too. I knew what David wanted. All he wanted, the only thing he could do, was hurt us. So we ignored him. That’s what I told him. “David, we are now going to ignore you until you have something civil to say.”
<Oh, the silent treatment. That really hurts.> Then, <Can I still do sarcasm? I haven’t practiced it in a while because it’s wasted when you’re alone on a deserted island stuck in the body of a rat.>
We ignored him. I had a plan. For years, David had no one to talk to. Now, here we were, two intelligent creatures he could speak with. Only we refused to speak to him. I figured it would hurt him. Turns out I was right. I could still read people, even if I had misread David in the beginning.
<So, Alloran was it?>
<Aristh Alloran-Sirinial-Fangor,> Alloran corrected.
<Right. So…I have a question.>
Alloran tilted a stalk eye at me and another at David. I nodded. “Go on.”
<You and Tobias live on this ship, right?>
<That is correct.>
<I didn’t think Andalites slept in beds. Or hawks.>
“Tobias is human now,” I told him. “Crayak’s doing. And that other bed isn’t Alloran’s. It’s Rachel’s.”
David twitched. More than usual, I mean. He was a rat, after all, so he was bound to twitch constantly anyway. <So you mean that the two of them….>
“Yeah.” I knew it would hurt David a bit. He had developed some kind of sick fixation for Rachel.
<Oh.>
Again he was silent. I was glad. It gave me time to think.
I didn’t think about Ronnie. I avoided that like the Yeerk pool. Instead, I concentrated on the task at hand. We had agreed that Alloran, David, and I would to the Anati. The Anati had been attacked by the Yeerks, so they wouldn’t be kind to any Controllers and our group was the only one without a Yeerk in it.
Mostly, though, I thought about the Ellimist. What was he hoping to gain by putting David with me? There had to be an ulterior motive. But what?
Could he want me to bring David back to the Animorphs? But that was impossible. We had tried everything to keep David under control.
But no, that wasn’t true. We had tried to force him to accept his new life. We jammed it down his throat the way it was crammed down ours. But that doesn’t work for everyone. It hadn’t worked for Marco; not until he found out that his mother was the host of the old Visser One.
We couldn’t force our life on him and, when he resisted and fought back, we trapped him as a rat. We had thought it was the only thing we could do aside from killing him. But now I realized that there was one other way.
In all our plotting and planning, we had never thought that maybe, just maybe, we could turn David back. Maybe he wasn’t too far gone. Maybe all he needed was for one of us to offer a helping hand instead of a killing claw.
Or maybe I was just an idiot girl with too many problems.
Chapter 8
I couldn’t sleep that night. Neither could the other two. Alloran paced the deck of the ship. David pretended to sleep but he didn’t fool either of us. “What’s keeping you up, Alloran?”
<It is nothing.>
“Then why not sleep?” He didn’t answer me. I hadn’t really expected him to. He had been raised in the Andalite culture where all men were warriors. Warriors and leaders didn’t stay up at night worrying. At least, not that they would let Alloran see. But I knew better.
See, I was a warrior. And I knew leaders. Jake used to be up all night constantly. I was up, too. And Rachel, Tobias, Ax, and Marco. We hardly slept during the war.
Still, I knew what was bothering him. It was the same thing that was keeping me up. “They’ll be okay, Alloran. All of them. Marco and Jeanne can handle Esplin; Marco might even find a way to free Ax.”
I regretted saying that as soon as I said it. It was wrong of me to give him false hope, wasn’t it? But then, I’ve always thought that any hope, even false hope, is better than having no hope at all.
<I know that, Cassie. But… It is not Marco and Jeanne that I fear for.>
“Oh? You don’t think Tobias and Rachel can handle themselves?” I asked.
<It isn’t that I don’t think they can’t handle anything. Rachel is a strong warrior and Tobias is a great hero. But they trust Guraff.>
“Don’t you?”
<He is a Yeerk,> Alloran answered simply. <I know that not all Yeerks are the same; I know about the Peace Movement. But Guraff is one of Esplin’s only friends, his most trusted lieutenant. Such a Yeerk is certainly as bad as the rest.>
“So you don’t trust Tobias’ judgment?”
<It is not my place to question him.>
“Why not? We always questioned Jake. A leader needs to be questioned, Alloran. Not all the time, like in a battle, but when there is time. Tobias isn’t perfect, you know.”
Alloran didn’t respond. He wouldn’t speak ill of his prince, not even to me. I decided it was time to turn my attention to my other problem.
“David, I want to ask you a question.”
<I want to go to sleep.>
“We both know that isn’t happening. Now, will you talk civilly to me or should we go back to ignoring you?” I said it sweetly. I knew what his answer would be.
<I’ll talk, I’ll talk.>
“Alright. Why did you betray us?”
<That’s your question? I thought you knew people, but you have to ask me why I did what I did?>
“Yes, I have to ask. I can’t figure it out. You hated us and the Yeerks because you blamed us for losing you your family. But you didn’t fight to get them back. You tried to run away instead of helping them. I don’t get it. There had to be more to it than you hating us.”
<That’s because you don’t understand hate. You’ve never felt it,> David answered. <Sure, you’ve been angry, but you don’t hate. Not even the Yeerks, I think. Not even Esplin.>
He was right. I wouldn’t give Esplin the victory of hating him. I wouldn’t do that. “So explain it to me.”
<That would be like you explaining love to me. It’s something you have to feel.>
“Then can I tell you why I think you turned on us?”
<You just said you didn’t know.>
“I said I didn’t know,” I agreed. “I didn’t say I didn’t have a guess.”
<Fine. Why did I do it, oh mighty and wise Cassie?>
“Because we never liked you. We never accepted you. We never treated you as one of us. We kept you at arms length, on the outside. You couldn’t feel like you belonged with us. And without your family to belong to, without friends to be with, you had nothing else to do. You turned against us because you were lonely.”
<That makes no sense whatsoever. How would fighting the only people who could speak to me get me more friends?>
“It wasn’t about making friends. It was about rejection. I can guess what it was like. You were the new kid. And not exactly popular, either. You were pushed away a lot. By all the kids at the schools you went to. And like you kept saying, being with us was like being at school. So you rejected us before we could reject you.”
<You’re crazy.>
“Said the talking rat.”
David was quiet for about ten minutes. Then, quietly, he said, <So what if I didn’t want to get rejected? How is that my fault? You’d never have accepted me. You could never have understood me. Do you know what it’s like to lose everything? To suddenly have everything you love stripped away from you?>
“No. I don’t know what that’s like. I’ve never been that unlucky. But Tobias has. You could have spoken to him.”
<He isn’t even human.>
“No? Are you a human, David?”
<Of course I am.>
“But your body’s a rat’s body.”
<So what? I’m still a human inside!>
“So is he.”
<No. No, it’s different. He’s a hawk in his mind. He’s still a hawk. You think I couldn’t see it? The whole time, he was looking at me like food. He called me Tasty!>
“So you don’t have a rat’s instincts? You don’t feel the constant fear of large predators, even when you’re morphed? You don’t want to burrow deep into something soft and curl up? You don’t want to hide in a dark place and nibble on some cheese?>
<It’s different!> David insisted.
“If you say so; like you said, I wouldn’t understand. But even if he wasn’t human anymore, Tobias used to be. And he would have understood.”
<None of you could. You don’t know what it’s like to lose your family and your home and everything you love.>
“Tobias never even had a family. Or a home. Or anything or anyone to love or to love him. You could have spoken to him. Or to Ax; in a battle that shouldn’t even have happened, he was separated form his entire species and he lost his brother. Marco lost his mother. Jake lost his brother. Rachel has no father. And me, I’ll help anyone with their problems.
“But you didn’t come to us. You hid inside yourself. Do you know why you betrayed us? I do. It wasn’t that you hated us or blamed us. It was because you were afraid we might actually like you. That’s what did it. Because the one thing you can’t stand is being rejected by your friends. That’s what you were running from, David.”
Chapter 9
Was I right about David? Honestly I didn’t know. I went to sleep after that. I used Rachel’s bed since I figured she’d freak out if David was anywhere near it. In the morning, I decided it was time to figure out what we were going to do.
Tobias had told Alloran that he was to listen to me, and I knew the Andalite would take that as an official order. “Alloran, what do we know about the Anati?”
We were eating breakfast. For me, that meant scrambled eggs that the Reliquary made. For David, it meant just about anything lying around. For Alloran, it was processed, liquefied grass he could eat through his hooves.
<The Anati are an odd race. The individual members seem to be made of several different creatures working together.>
“Like the Nesk?”
<No, not if I understand the Nesk correctly. You know, of course, that the Nesk were all destroyed on Earth several million years ago.>
I nodded. That was a particularly bad memory for me. We had been blown backwards through time, back to when the dinosaurs walked the earth. They were accompanied by two types of aliens: the Mercora and the Nesk.
The Mercora were good. They were like big, many-eyed crabs. They didn’t get along with the Nesk, so they used force-fields to keep the Nesk out. The Mercora were peaceful. The Nesk were not.
The Nesk were ants. Swarms of ants that could form into creatures. It was freaky. They seemed to work together, like any ant colony. Both the Nesk and the Mercora were destroyed when a comet hit Earth and wiped out the dinosaurs, too.
The reason I feel so bad about that is because it was our fault. The Nesk had a nuclear weapon that could blow us back into our own time and the Mercora wanted us to steal it so we could use it. We did it. And in the resulting battle, we drove the Nesk off of earth. But the Nesk had a little revenge: they altered the course of a comet so it would hit Earth.
The Mercora wanted our weapon to divert the comet. In the end, we gave it to them. But it was too late. Because Tobias made a decision that changed history forever.
Tobias was the one who saw it. The comet had to hit Earth and wipe out everything on it. Without that, humans couldn’t evolve. So he had Ax rig the weapon so it would malfunction and the comet would hit Earth.
I’m glad I didn’t have to make that decision. I think Jake was glad it was taken away from him, too. I could never have sacrificed an entire sentient species, even to save my own.
I think that was when I first realized that there was something dark and ruthless inside of Tobias. He used to be a lot like me. I knew he had been changed by his time as a hawk, but I thought that was just the predator instincts.
But a predator could never have made that choice. The hawk couldn’t have seen what was about to happen. It was a cold, calculated, human decision.
I still don’t know how he feels about that. He killed off the entire Mercora race. Does it hurt him? Or can he sleep at night because he did what he had to do. He always told me that was enough for him but I’m not sure.
I realized then that I didn’t know anything about Tobias. Not really. I had always thought he was the one who was the most like me. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were the complete opposite.
But all of that wasn’t the point. “So if they aren’t like the Nesk, what are they?”
<The way I understand it, each member is composed of three different creatures. These three make up the creature’s body. Only one part of the body is sentient; the others are similar to animals.>
<What is their society like?> David asked.
<The Anati are a proud people, not unlike us Andalites in mentality. The Helmacrons insulted them and provoked them into a war. It would be best to avoid anything that might be construed as an insult to them.>
“Does the Reliquary have any pictures?” I asked. I was trying to think of what the others would have asked.
<I believe so.> A moment later, four holograms appeared before us. One was of a creature that looked like four crab’s legs (as in there were four legs, not four crabs’ worth of legs. That would be a freakin’ LOT of legs!).
The next was one large arm with a hand at the end. The hand had four claws that looked like a bird’s talons. It had three other claws that were longer, more slender, and had many joints.
The last was clearly some sort of head. It was circular, with a single foot that had three toes. It had five eyes arranged in a circle in the center of the face. It also possessed four stalk eyes like Alloran’s, but these were longer and bigger. The top of the head had a mouth. There was no nose at all.
The final hologram was of all three of these together. The legs were the centerpiece. The hand sat on the top. The head was slung, hanging by its foot, underneath the legs. It was a pretty freaky looking creature, and I’ve seen some strange things in my time.
The strangest thing was that the whole creature was pink. A bright, almost neon pink. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they glowed in the dark.
<Looks dangerous,> David decided. <Even if they are pink all over.>
<They are. Their claw is strong enough to crush the bones of a Hork-Bajir. The mouth of the head is almost as dangerous as a Taxxon’s mouth. Their legs are nearly as fast as an Andalite,> he added, almost embarrassed.
“No wonder the Yeerks wanted them.”
<Actually, they were not originally intended for combat. It seems that the Yeerks wanted to contact them about creating artificial, symbiotic hosts. Except the Anati could not help the Yeerks, so the Yeerks attacked instead.>
“Sounds like the Yeerks we know. So these are the ones we’re trying to help?”
<This is them.>
“Any ideas what to do to divert them from their war?”
<No.>
<Nothing,> David agreed.
I thought about what the others would say and took a mental vote. Marco would insist we had a plan. Rachel would have canceled him out. Jeanne would have advocated caution. Tobias would say that we had no choice. We had to jump in and do something. I agreed.
“Well, we’ll wing it. Wouldn’t be the first time.” Then, I thought of something else a certain Animorph would say. “Let’s do it!”
